X-Japan Live in Yokohama

This is totally corny
Its so yoyo-centric

And I am reminded how much I love this guy!

Rest in Peace - Daisuke

There was time when I used to tell myself - one day, i will be as old as them. How does it feel to just fall like that?



Now, I ask myself - why do some get taken away at such a young age.



Sometimes I just wonder if I have lived too long to see them go one by one.

Daisuke - as I would like to remember him, in his kagerou days.

Shigurui - Death fantasy

Was at an external meeting yesterday with 2 of my colleagues

On our way back, our car almost hit the kerb.....and at that moment i wished it did, on my side.
Strange, must have been watching too much of shigurui lately.

That violence and death fantasy thing is getting into my head

Gnoticism

Had a long long discussion last nite with P on Gnoticism.

In the end, din really sleep but spent the whole of last nite thinking of the gnostic myths and beliefs. And strangely enough, I thought about some of the issues which had been bugging me for a long time.......some could be answered probably by gnoticism, some remained unanswered.

I also began to think about why some lyrics, some books strike such a backlash of emotions in me and also my obsession about imperfection. Was reminded of sunao yoshida's trinity blood, about Test Tube Babies being created by a higher being. These creatures, and their imperfect destiny looping in infinity, suffering endlessly, feeding on the blood of others. Never really quite understood what that was all about....never really quite understood my fascination with trinity blood.

One of those evenings............

Ranting

Couple of things happened this weekend:

1) celebrated my bday with pet at kuriya penthouse. Din expect to see Paul (used to be stationed at Raffles City Kuriya outlet) there. Table on my right sat dhanabalan and george yeo, not that it had anything to do with me. Table on my left.......surprise, Wilin and fren. I called him on the hp and boy was he shocked to see me just sitting at the next table. Crowded nite it was when what we needed was just a quiet evening actually. Food was good. Service was way above excellent. Paul recalled it was near my bday and wanted to get his bartender to perform magic tricks at my table, I was like......no thanks!

But seriously, for my sushi fix, I still think Tatsuya is my cup of tea.

Oh oh.......X-clamp re-released a DVD version and well, tat was one of the DVDs I ordered for myself. plus another 2 CDs-Lang Lang's recording of Rach 3 and Julian Lloyd Weber's recording of Elgar Concerto.

2) Bought a couple of CDs from HMV. I din really fancy the new store layout, its small and stocks really a limited collection of CDs only. Found the Horrowitz recording I was hunting for finally (yay!!!!!).

3) Din manage to get my Lang Lang piano recital tix ( was sorely disappointed) but managed to get my Chthonic live tix.

4) Did some packing of my old magazines and came across the folder with all my Raphael interviews. Was it just like yesterday when Iwas watching hotwave. Losing him.....remains unbearable after so long.

5) Worked quite a bit for the rest of the weekend........ too many things to juggle and I am glad my folks are beginning to be pretty supportive. Still the pressure mounts on. Did some reading last evening..........Goth by Otsu Ichi. It remains one of my fave books to read and re-read when I am feeling twisted.

6) There will be an anime version of Togainu no Chi ....dunno to laugh or cry!

tomorrow marks another week at work........wish me luck!

(currently slashing this anime - Hakuoki 薄桜鬼 〜新選組奇譚〜)

June 3rd

3rd day on my new job.

its overwhelming and I am feeling dizzy now. Everything seems about to explode, or had just exploded.

Pressing on.......pressing on.......pressing on


More pics from my shanghai trip.

Little mermaid in the denmark pavilion. Really lonely looking.

Ate xiaolongbao at the legendary nanxiang dumpling shop in Yuyuan. Its good, but frankly its about the same as what we get in the better shops selling dumpings. Nothing that exceptionally special.

The best hotpot I had ever taken. Thx to rachel and eric for taking me and pet there. The soup stock was surprisingly tasty. Do not be fooled by the redness of the chilli oil..........its really drinkable!

End of May~ A New Chapter

Went for a karaoke cum MTV viewing session with Scenic over the weekend.

Told her about the impending changes at work.

Went for liver exercise with my usual kakee. Also told them about my impending changes at work.

They are right. From now on, its just upwards and uphill for me. I am going to give it a best shot. I would have inadvertently stepped on or over certain people, left some dead bodies behind, old peers have suddenly become my subordinates............but, I just do what I need to and I expect people to get used to it.

Changed the template of my blog to mark this event. Just wanted something simpler.

Pictures are from my recent Shanghai trip ( XinTiandi). Shanghai is so affluent, but yet nothing really has changed beyond the glitzy surface.

蓝宇

最近情绪开始有点焦躁。很多心里面的东西不太明白，以为开始明朗化，却又偷偷从指缝间溜走，思绪抓也抓不住。

It stifles me to death. 时间，地点。。。。没有一样是对的， 结局早就注定了。

在家里，一个人在夜晚看蓝宇， 感觉一样是垂心的疼。哭了，是电影的关系， 没有别的原因。

影片后段， 当捍东跟朋友猜拳行酒时，镜头落在了蓝宇的眼睛上，蓝宇正注视着专心猜拳的捍东，满眼的温柔，满脸的幸福……只有一个人爱另一个人很深的时候，才会有这样的表现。 这个镜头，我永远无法直视，那个眼神太耀眼了。

蓝宇：我记得你开始跟我讲过：‘两个人，要是太熟了……倒不好意思再玩了……也就是说要散了。所以老这么想：第２天早上起来的时候，就少喜欢你一点，免得自己到时候难过。

Volcanic ash is driving me nuts

Totally irrelevant title to this post.....just so like me....ever irrelevant


Playing a random game

Go down the alphabet listing and put down whichever album, artist, musical project etc (whose CDs you own) that first comes to mind.
May not be the best thing or your favourite though. (guess hanyu pinyin or romanji counts ya!)

A - Avantasia, Anita Mui (or should I put this under M??), Ali project (Gawd, what was I thinking when i put this down)

B - Bobby mcferin, babysitter, black sabbath, beyond, backstreet boys (yeap......face it, admit it, anyone of my vintage would have owned their stuff rite.....dun deny!)

C - Chthonic

D - Deadmen, diru, due le quartz, DT, dexy's midnite runners

E - Edguy, evanasence, endlicheri, eagles, earl grey

F - fei lun hai ( hahahahaha.....no, dun ask me why!)

G - glay, greeeeen, guns and roses, garnet crow

H - Hai ping mian (海平面 A-chord), hotaru

I - INXS, Iron Maiden

J -jacqueline du pre, jinkaku rajio

K - kinki kids, kazuki, kato kazuki

L - lareine, luna sea, led zeppelin, L'dear, luinspear

M - Mayday, Merry, mercy sisters, malice mizer, madeth'll, mucc

N - nightmare, nirvana

O - onmyouza, ozzy osbourne

P - petshop boys, placebo, piass, poisonous dolls

Q - Qiang bian （强辩）

R - Raphael, rice

S - Sodagreen, sendai kamotsu, scorpions, soul asylum, sex pistols, shiina ringo

T -takui

U- uver world, U2

V - vidoll

W - Wubai and chinablue, 五月天(yes, i cheated)

X - X Japan

Y - yo-yo ma

Z - zero

4月7日

之前解决了手头上的一个大案子，松了口气。因为合约总值有点那个庞大，报章什么都给他乱报一通。努力了差不多2年的案子就这样结束，看着新闻什么的，忽然有点不真实呢。

现在埋头于另一个案子，虽然没之前那个浩大，也算是不错大。不过最近好像有点遇到瓶颈了，对方也开始打拉锯战。。。。不知道还要耗多久的时间才能结束。

然后，本来一直说要去的春天呐喊， 最后却没去的春天呐喊。。。也结束了。
海平面以独立身份报名参加了。记得以前在这里写了一篇关于海平面主唱A-chord的东西。。。。很喜欢这个小男生。海平面也是组团最久， 成员最稳定的一个乐团了。看着他们从十来岁组团到现在。。。心理一直一直想说去看他们的live。。。。一直想说总有一天能在春天呐喊的平台上有机会看到他们。不过，应该没这个可能了，因为A-chord已经接到入伍通告。明年就算我真的能参加春呐，应该也看不到海平面了。

看看a-chord部落格写了这次出席春呐的感想，很温馨，心里某初也觉得十分的感动和窝心。这个应该也是海平面最后一次完整性的演出。就算退伍了，因为a-chord也已经貌似签约到不知哪个公司了，最近也上了百万大歌星。。。。。就算有机会演出，也是“a-chord和海平面”呗，对我来说意义上有很大的不同。

很多东西，如果不在当下抱着想做就做的觉悟，往往就永远再也没有哪个机会了。春呐我想了大概有4-5年，没有一次成行。只能说我是个犹豫不决的人。


生日快乐，kazuki!

闪灵@hidden agenda live house HKG, 7/3

为什么！！！！！这种好康永远就没有新加坡的份！

我的大爱chthonic要到香港跟澳门办live去了！我好想去！！！！！

我心目中永远的女神----桃乐丝！等我哟！谁是桃乐丝？？？(上面左二， 下面)

不就是被英国畅销摇滚杂志Terrorizer年度读者票選全球最佳貝斯手全球第二名。 竟然排在我同样大爱的john myung（DT)前面。也太厉害了吧！

seediq bale这张专辑始终令我惊艳了。好像捡到宝了，每次听都有不同的感动。每次听，都会发现一些之前没发现的东西。。。。可以是某句词，可以是某个riff。。。。总之太多太多惊奇了。

到了近期的十殿。。。。。o my god， 作为一个中文乐坛死亡金属指标性的乐团， 他们真的接近神了呗！

为什么不来我这边？？？！！！！！

前阵子鼓手被车子撞了一下下，受了伤，演出也取消了。不知道好了没?超挂念滴！

SUMMER WARS

SUMMER WARS is easily one of the bestest of the best!

Must watch! Love the drawing, love the characters and love the use of colours. Plus....doesnt Oz remind you vaguely of mixi?

MW (pronounce MU) the movie turned out to be a huge disappointment. Was it because of the producers trying to accomodate the general audience? Tamaki shines in his role as Yuki, but his co-star ( whats his name???) is really plain, his acting is at best shallow, being unable to bring out any of the angst of being torn between his tumultous relationship with Yuki and responsibilities as the pastor of the church.

Was quite upset with the movie adpatation coz this is my favourite Tezuka manga. The movie barely scratches some of the themes tezuka the great delves into in the manga - homosexuality, violence, government scams, corruption..........

It turned out to be just a simple thriller, a below average one on top of that. It tries to be gory with tachibana's murder....but its a feeble attempt.

Nonetheless, I hope this movie serves as a reminder that Tezuka is not about just the sugary- sweet-makes-me-feel-all-good Astro Boy! I love astro boy, but Tezuka is not all about astro boy. People tend to forget about Tezuka's other works which I consider epic and brilliant, esp considering the times when he wrote/drew them. MW is one, Buddha is the other.

裏切りは僕の名前を知っている

幸福地转圈圈！

小田切ほたる老师的大作要改编成动画了！而且声优方面班底超豪华滴！有大爱的保志総一朗， 櫻井孝宏， 福山潤， 石田彰。。。。简直是梦幻组合！

4月快点降临吧！最高的春天！　

又来一帖

咔！！！！！！！！

这个星期是魔鬼星期！航空展耶！单看自己的会议行程就脚软。

嘛。。。。。生活就是这样。有忙，有忙里偷闲。。。。有大刺刺偷懒！

上面的不是重点啦！我是那种越忙就越不会睡觉，然后就越忙就越要硬挤时间出来搞业余活动的怪物。（但是若没什么东西忙，却只会暴睡的说，超没有用滴！）

哦。。。。。有重大事情宣布！

我等了8年。。。。松下容子老师的闇の末裔单行本12终于发行了！我周末买了之后，很没有形象的就坐在超市外的楼梯旁偷偷看了。哦。。。。这简直是少年爱的入门启蒙课本吗！现下的小妹妹们也不知道对这个了不了解。当时的密，都築、邑輝、巽 －－ 漫画超萌的也算了，连动画也是一绝，尤其是都築召唤朱雀那一招　——我对这类阴阳术的东西最最最最没有招架力了！还有还有就是巽对都築　默默的守护。。。。当然还有邑輝对于都築有点怪怪的感情出发点。

当时正值青春少女期的我(爆汗！青春可能有过，不过少女有点牵强！）就被这样茶毒成现下这幅腐女子德行了。不过，貌似老师并没有意思再继续画下去了！！！泪。。。。。想不到我的快乐如此短暂！闇の末裔落得跟Ｘ－Ｃｌａｍｐ一样的下场！胃口被吊得高高，结果。。。。好没瘾！

老师，我还有很多很多疑问呢！！！！
１）都築不是人类，那他是什么？
２）邑輝到底在树下被密撞破谋杀事件，然后为了让密忘记所看到的事情，在密身上下了咒语。。。
那他到底有没有对密那个吗？？？漫画和动画都好暧昧！好死不死那次的相遇还被邑輝形容为＂刺激感官的相遇！！！”

还有啊，几个自己非常喜欢的，属于比较＂老牌＂的漫画家也都有新刊了！继ｇｅｔｂａｃｋｅｒｓ长篇连载结束之后，綾峰欄人老师又有新作了ｈｏｌｙ　ｔａｌｋｅｒ！（现在红得不得了的ｓｏｕｌ　ｅａｔｅｒ的大久保篤，也曾经是老师的助手耶！）。还有轰轰烈烈捧红了很多人的ｄｅａｔｈｎｏｔｅ的大場つぐみ和小畑健再度联手出击，也出了新书ｂａｋｕｍａｎ！这次是关于漫画家的心路旅程。。。。应该比较接近ヒカルの碁的励志漫画。

当然少不了许老师的新网王。。。。我们家的终极王道配塚不二的爱要永远的延续下去！看了第１本单行本。。。。呵呵呵，许老师看来对这小俩口也是情有独钟滴！

昨晚看了新网王。。。。忽然觉得又回到了好几年前的夏天。。。。。自己刚开始疯狂爱上塚不二的时候。我是彻底不二命，总觉得不二是一个很温柔很能接受很多很多的孩子。那时有个很奇怪的想法。。。。我是标准不婚不育主义者。。。不过，如果可以生出像不二这样的孩子，那我千百个愿意呢！只要看到不二，心里就充满了柔情。。。。。。哦。我是腐到无可救药了。

动画方面，有点期待薄樱鬼。。。。美男型吗！ｄａｒｋｅｒ　ｔｈａｎ　　ｂｌａｃｋ　２也是超刁的，虽然第３集以前根本不知道契约者之间到底为了什么在打！
最近很热衷的还有ｔｅｇａｍｉ　ｂａｃｃｈｉ！　
黒執事将会推出第２部。。。。这种故事背景适合我口味，也是满期待的。

以前大爱的ｇｏｎｚｏ已经没什么好贡献了的说，好像人才都跑光了。 现下倒是ｂｏｎｅｓ越来越有趣！

忽然有点期待今年了。。。。。我相信会是一个充满爱的小花，充满奇情科幻的一年！！！！好期待！

PS:其实，写这个帖子的时候，心情是很郁闷，又带了点恐慌。
我已经再也回不了同人文的圈子了，已经失去了天马行空的幻想能力。。。。曾经那是我引以为豪的地方。。。。无穷无尽的想象空间，永远用不完的时间，不停不停的写自己喜欢的东西。 不得不承认，我已经写不出塚不二的故事了。

我已经被现实生活同化得一无是处。

闇の末裔。。。。曾经那么疯狂的追捧着， 却在看了12集时，惊觉自己对前面11集的故事情节模糊不清， 有些人物甚至连名字也说不出口。可能有一天，我会把自己很重要的东西也就这样悄悄的忘掉。


你们对这段东西有印象吗?
~~我，有一个谁也不让的东西，绝对唯一的、最重要、最重要的东西。我生命中的一切都是由它形成的，不是用语言什么就能表达清楚的。这种强烈的，炽热的意识。我充满自信，我的这种意识比谁都强，我的这种意识不输给任何人。为了这个而流血，为了这个而创作。在我画着的时候，因为不能更接近这种意识而时常让我咬牙切齿，我想说的还不止这些，自己想到的不止是这些。‘ 我永远也无法靠近它’。我哭喊、痛苦、负伤，我被自己撕碎，我狂乱，但不管我如何狂乱，这个唯一的东西不曾改变。因此才有新出来的思想，才认识明白更多的道理。哪怕你能感受到我的这种心情的只是百分之一。”

那时看了尾崎南的这段话，第1次觉得我的生命有了想要追求的东西。是同人文也好，是音乐也好。。。。总之那时的自己好像干劲满满。

忽然觉得现在的自己真的有点悲哀。

速食面吃太多，果然就是这个下场。

2009

2009 just came and went. Thought I would just write a post about me, me and me to take stock!

Memorable events in 2009:

Attended X japan concert in Taipei and bumped into members at the airport

Attended Kouchan concert in yoko ari (haha!) with Yuzuha and my balloted tickets were like way up front, I could just grab him when he came by on the lift

Attended Soda Green's live at fort canning (and laughed my guts out when Da mouth performed, no offence, they were cool in their own way)

Attended Games Music live, but missed the final fantasy orchestra

Attended MayDay live in Singapore with mucc69

Did not celebrate my birthday, intentionally

Went on Lemon Squash detox diet at least once a month (it was awesome)

Became a believer in acid/alkaline diet

Cropped my hair really short ( it still is! and I am loving it!)

Include at least one green veg dish in my daily chap chai rice lunch in the canteen

Went on a 1 full week holiday in Kyoto and Osaka with my mum, my dahling aunty magpie and her hubby.....it was the longest holiday I have taken since I started working in 1997

Bought my 1st alice auaa top ( and squeezed into it!)

Change of portfolio at work - 2 times in a year

Having to leave behind a solid team of players in my ex-division (I love you guys!)

Visited Hide's grave (again) at Miurakaigan

New Year resolution for 2010:

Cook and eat in more often

Brisk walk at least 2 times/week in the park

Introduce goth and grunge fashion to my workplace (yap!!!!!! did BPN yesterday....way to go!)

Get my ears pierced (I wan those goddamned Alchemy Gothic earrings)

Do lasik over one of the long weekends this year (i need to get the eye check done first though)

Catch tsuyoshi solo concert

Catch at least 1 Vkei event

To do week long drive-tour in Kyushu this fall with my mum (yeap!) and pet the driver

To commence my own 奥の細道 adventure, starting from Sendai

Read more manga, watch more anime, embrace otakuism and be totally open about it!

Be totally proficient in my new portfolio at work

Enrol for Buddhist classes (its about time to make that MAJOR decision which will affect me for the rest of my life.)